Sometimes the best intentions and plans for birthing your baby can go out the window when the baby has a different idea on how and when it decides to be born, or if the hospital staff are not gentle and respectful of your wishes during the sensitivity and vulnerability of your labour and birth.
When what is supposed to be the most joyful day in your life is instead a negative experience, it can leave women feeling in shock, disempowered, violated and traumatised which can often lead to post natal depression (10-16%) and post-traumatic stress disorder (1.5-9%) which can affect mothering in a negative way. This is compounded when the majority of comments after the birth are usually “Well at least you had a healthy baby!”, which completely dismisses your feelings. People can forget that your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing is equally important as the baby’s.
One way to help heal from a difficult birth is to connect with those feelings, to release all your pent up grief and tears while feeling heard and validated, and then be given the chance to reconnect with your baby in the calm, nurtured and supported environment in which you envisioned birthing your baby whilst pregnant, with a caring and non-judgemental, professional birth support as your guide.
I find that doing this in a warm bath with candles, aromatherapy oils and flower petals creates an ambiance that feels cleansing and cathartic, and yet full of beauty, which can make for stunning photographs to look back on if you choose to have it captured, and can help reconnect with your baby in a safe space where your experience is honoured.
This can be done postnatally, whenever you feel ready, or during a subsequent pregnancy to prepare yourself so that those fears do not cause emotional and physical blockages during your next birth.
I thought I’d take this opportunity to say thank you. No one has taken the time to really listen to me like the way you did. You helped me reconnect with my emotions where I was able to let go and release. I felt I was in a safe space where my feelings were validated. We easily connected because you genuinely cared. I was also impressed with the amount of useful information you shared with me and after our session I felt empowered. I was so relieved and emotionally ready for the birth of my 2nd baby. Thank you so much.”
“Virginia organised a rebirth ceremony for me when our son was back home from NICU [after being born at 27 weeks]. It was such a special ceremony which helped me to acknowledge my grief, let go of it and be positive with my mind.
I cannot imagine how we could have been without Virginia’s support and wisdom.
Thank you Virginia for your wonderful service!”
~ Noriko (doula)
“Thanks so much for today. It’s good to release shit that no longer serves…. and to hear that it’s ok to forgive and it is time….. I really appreciate the time, energy and support you gave me today….. Thank you so much. Xxx”
I have formulated my Birth Trauma Release ceremonies from the influences of Rebirthing, Aware Parenting Empathy Support groups, Gestalt Therapy and the Shamanic Burning Ritual. A session will cost you $190 for approximately 2 hours but may vary due to extra time (travel charges may apply for out of my area). Photographs can also be taken during the ceremony if you wish, at no extra charge, with all edited photos given back to you to keep forever. If you have me as your doula, this can be done during your pregnancy as part of my package.
If you are interested in booking a Birth Trauma Release Ceremony, I am happy to have a Skype chat with you first so that you know you will be comfortable unloading your feelings in my presence. Please get in contact to start your journey to healing.